December 2011
Or she could've heard the part where I said I was...
Me: Number twenty-five is a pigtail butt plug.
Cember: You're on Cracked!!
Me: Yes.
Cember: I feel bad that I know that based on the words that just came out of your mouth.
Me: Pigtail butt plug?
Cember: Yes.
Annnnnnnd I’m doing laundry at 12 am again.
My family must hate me.
“If the dirt—covered hovel is rockin’, don’t come...”
– Cracked
“Finding someone witty and who loves Nascar is like, insane. You are the 1%.”
– Delsy.
:(
The Princess Bride never fails to make me happy.
True story.
I’m so tired of living here.
Oh, and fuck this holiday because this is just another letdown of a day.
Keg Party
Drunk Girl: I like your shirt.
Me: Oh, thanks.
Drunk Girl: You have amazing boobs. Like I'm not even a lesbian. But just like... Wow. They're amazing. They're just wow.
Me: Oh, thanks.
I love drunk girls.
Its awful when you say to someone that you should hate them, they’ve hurt you, and watch them go to jail when you loved them so much none of that even mattered. Its a very haunting event.
Michael Thomas.
Harlots need to back the fuck off.
When cute boys say I'm pretty
lovelyinparis:
My friends are awake! O_O
Why aren’t they talking to me?
Eh?
Need to stop watching indie films.
My butt hurts from the drive back home >:[
Things I'll Never Understand About My Mother
The house needs to be 80 degrees, no matter what. Anything lower is too cold. A car ride needs to be 60. No matter what. Anything higher is too hot.
Half man, half horse?
Granddad: There are a bunch of centurions around here. An entire section of the community is dedicated to them.
My thoughts: What? How is that possible?! Dude, I wanna meet a fucking centaur!!
Mom: Wow. Its so good to see that there's a place for the elderly to be healthy and active, even over a hundred.
My thoughts: Oh. That kind of centurion.
-_-
Mom: I swear, I don't know why you try to fight me. You've never been in a fight a day in your life. I used to fight all the time, and I will always win. You're pathetic. You are persistent though, but all you get out of it is your ass beat.
Me: O_O... I can fight. Its not my fault I was too afraid of you to go throwing punches in elementary.
Mom: No you can't.... Hey, don't go starting fights in school now to prove that you can win a fight.
Me: Mom... who am I going to fight? I'm in college now...
Mom: Pansy. But really, don't try fighting anyone.
Delsy:
Me? I’m always alright.
:D
You know when something is being phased out and you don’t realize it until its too late, its pretty much phased out, and you don’t really care as much as you thought you would because it has already phased itself out?
Yeah. I hate when that happens because you lack all control and soon you blow up like a frog sitting in a pond of suddenly boiling water.
My feet hurt, my ears ring, I work in 7 hours to stand for 4 hours.
But it was totally worth it.
I love my friends.
Great way to start winter break :)
lovelyinparis:
Oh, and to a certain someone: :)
